


If it’s Not Hate...

by RiotFalling



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: (but not really), Angry Sex, Bucky is not good at words, Hate Sex, Kinktober 2019, M/M, Tony Has Issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-09
Updated: 2019-10-09
Packaged: 2020-11-28 03:13:48
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,839
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20959514
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RiotFalling/pseuds/RiotFalling
Summary: There’s a mission, pretty standard. There’s a bomb, also pretty standard. Tony throwing himself at the bomb before anyone else gets a chance? Yeah just another day at the office.What is new is Bucky tracking Tony down and cornering him, looking pissed when he usually avoids looking at Tony at all. Tony is kind of expecting some more yelling.That is not what Tony gets.





	If it’s Not Hate...

**Author's Note:**

> For day eight of Kinktober.
> 
> This prompt go so far away from me, I legitimately have no idea what I was originally going for. It also got very long, and I’m very very proud of it, so it gets it’s own story.
> 
> Don’t fight me, I’m delicate.

Tony doesn’t like Bucky Barnes.

(Which is to say, he likes Bucky maybe a little bit too much. He likes Bucky’s eyes and Bucky’s quiet laugh and his dry sense of humor and the fact that he’s probably the bravest, strongest person Tony knows. But it’s so much easier to pretend that he doesn’t like Bucky, doesn’t like any of those things.)

Bucky doesn’t seem to like Tony much either, which honestly is a big part of the reason Tony is sticking with his whole  ‘_I don’t like Bucky’_ stance. It just makes things easier. And Tony has almost gotten used to the way Bucky tends to leave a room when Tony walks into it, the way Bucky’s expression always goes pinched and tense when Tony cracks a joke, the way any attempts to make conversation are met with a blank face and a hint of panic around the eyes. Tony’s fine with all of that, he really is, because he is the _master_ of denial and he absolutely does not have a big sad crush on a man who doesn't like him. Not even a little bit. Everything is totally fine.

Except now it looks like Bucky more than doesn’t like him, it looks like he  _hates _Tony, his fists clenched and his eyes dark and Tony’s never see him so angry. Tony is also trying really, really hard to ignore how gorgeous Bucky looks with his jaw clenched and his hair wild, because that is not a useful observation right now. Or ever.

“Did you need something?” Tony asks, trying not to sound like he’s tired and a little sad, and all Tony wants is to sneak back to his room in peace. Bucky doesn’t say anything, but he also doesn’t move out of Tony’s way and finally Tony sighs. “Fine, next time I promise I’ll let _you_ jump in front of the bomb,” Tony says, rolling his eyes a little. He’s lying of course, the next time he sees Bucky throwing himself at a ticking time bomb Tony is absolutely going to jump in first, just like he did this time. Bucky can get mad about that all he wants, Tony's never going to be able to just stand by and watch Bucky throw himself headfirst into danger. And no, Tony is never going to let himself think too hard about why exactly that is, either. 

Tony finally decides to just scoot past Bucky by walking right up against the wall, like any mature adult would do in this situation. Tony just wants to get back to his room, get out of his flight suit and collapse into bed. He's maybe twelve feet from the door and it’s calling to him like a beacon. “Sorry for hogging all the glory,” Tony says as he passes Bucky, their shoulders barely brushing, even though all Tony had _actually_ gotten was a lecture from Steve and, apparently, a first class ticket to Bucky’s most-hated list. Tony is just starting to think he’s home free when suddenly Bucky’s hand lands on his shoulder and he’s being spun, pressed up against the wall with a surprising lack of force considering that Bucky still looks pissed as hell.

“You think that’s what I’m mad about?” Bucky demands in a low growl that absolutely doesn’t send a shiver down Tony’s spine. Before Tony quite knows it he’s caged in with Bucky’s thick arms on either side of his head, and Tony is trying really hard not to get a _really_ inappropriate erection.

“I got the best seat on the flight home?” Tony guesses, shrugging a little because he honestly does’t know anymore, everything he does seems to rub Bucky exactly the wrong way. 

Bucky clenches his strong, rugged jaw and his eyes flash dangerously. He doesn’t actually answer though, so Tony is going to believe it’s the seat thing.

“Fine, next time you can jump at the bomb _and_ ride in the good seat,” Tony says, rolling his eyes dramatically. Bucky is still crowded up in his space, and there’s only so long Tony can reasonably be expected to behave himself in these circumstances. Case in point, Tony finds himself tipping his head back against the wall, smirking up at Bucky from beneath his eyelashes and saying “so unless you had anything else to not-say, and if you’re not going to follow through on all this muscly looming and actually hate-fuck me, then I think we’re done here, right snowflake?”

Bucky’s eyes widen and he freezes, Tony doesn’t even think he’s breathing. And sure, Tony hadn’t actually thought Bucky would take him up on the offer, hell he should probably just be glad he's not getting his face punched in, but he still can’t help feeling the tiniest twinge of disappointment. Because Tony may be a superhero, but he's not actually that good of a person, and he's just desperate enough to take whatever he can get. Bucky continues to just stand there frozen though, looking like his entire brain has shut down on him, so Tony gives up with a shrug and ducks under Bucky's arm.

"Good talk, I'm gonna go now, maybe hit the shower," Tony says, resists the urge to pat Bucky on the shoulder, and finally heads for his room. His hand is inches from the doorknob, _so_ close to his escape, when Bucky grabs his arm again. Tony has just enough time to wonder if actually _this_ is the part where he gets beat up before his back hits the door and Bucky is kissing him, all teeth and furious heat.

Tony is a little surprised, but only a little. He knows he’s generally considered attractive, that there have been plenty of people who hate Tony and still want to fuck him. And Tony is still determined to make the best of it, so he buries his fingers in Bucky's thick hair and pulls him in closer. If this is all he's ever going to get, then he might as well enjoy it.

And enjoy it he does, committing to memory the sting of Bucky's teeth against his lip, the firm pressure of Bucky's metal hand on his hip. When Bucky pins him in more firmly against the door he tugs Tony's hips towards him, pulling Tony's back into a shallow arch and Tony can feel Bucky's cock already half hard against him. Tony may or may not be able to successfully smother the soft, hungry noise that tries to escape him, but he definitely shudders when Bucky responds by growling and shoving his entire tongue down Tony's throat.

At some point Tony manages to get his hand on the doorknob and then they’re stumbling back through the doorway and tumbling to the ground, Bucky kicking out a foot to slam the door shut behind them. Which is probably a good thing, because Tony does not have the brain power to worry about silly things like public indecency or traumatizing his teammates right now. He's way more interested in Bucky's hand on his thigh, pushing Tony's legs wider so Bucky can shove his way between them. Tony was already kind of breathless from the fall, and what little air he has left is knocked out of him in a shuddering moan when Bucky grinds down hard against him.

"Graceful, you sure you're not trying to kill me?" Tony bitches, because it's that or tell Bucky how amazing he feels, how long Tony has wanted this. And that would definitely ruin the (angry) mood and chase Bucky away.

"I haven't decided," Bucky grumbles and then bites the line of Tony's throat hard. Tony would complain, because that's definitely song to leave a bruise, but he's too busy moaning and shaking and pressing his own quickly swelling erection against Bucky's firm stomach.

Bucky is fully hard against him now, Tony can feel it when Bucky slides a hand beneath him and hitches his hips up a little higher, thick cock pressed to the curve of Tony’s ass as Bucky thrusts against him again. And oh, Tony wants that inside of him so badly he's practically shaking with it, wants to feel Bucky pressing him down and spreading him open. Tony wants a lot of other things too, wants to lick Bucky all over and then swallow down his cock, wants to find out everything that makes him weak, and he wants to see what Bucky’s bedhead looks like in the morning, wants to make him laugh even just once. Tony isn’t going to get any of those things, but if he doesn’t screw this up he just might get angry floor sex, and that’s so much better than nothing. If this is all he gets, then Tony’s damn well going to make the most of it.

Except something occurs to him and Tony lets his head drop back to the floor with a groan that’s distinctly less happy. Bucky freezes against him and Tony is suddenly terrified that Bucky is going to change his mind, get up and leave Tony here cold and lonely and painfully turned on. "The lube is in the bedroom,” Tony blurts out before Bucky can pull away, mostly just trying to sound taunting instead of pathetically desperate, “if you want to do this.”

Bucky gasps and presses him harder into the ground, his hips jerking and Tony can feel the way Bucky’s cock gives a hard twitch. “I wanna do this” Bucky says and he sounds a little thrown, like maybe he hadn’t thought Tony was serious. Which is ridiculous, basically everyone in the world knows that Tony is easy. And Tony has spent so long trying not to let himself think about having Bucky under his hands like this, there’s no way he was anything less than one hundred percent serious, no way he’s going to change his mind now.

Before Tony has a chance to snark out that they’ll actually have to  _move_, he finds his head spinning as Bucky picks them both up off the ground in one smooth movement, Tony’s legs tightening around Bucky’s hips and his arms snapping up to Bucky’s shoulders. Bucky doesn’t even seem like the feat of strength phased him, immediately taking a step towards the bedroom, and that is way hotter than it has any right to be, has Tony moaning low and deep and pulling Bucky into another harsh kiss before he does something stupid like start full on begging. No, much safer to just lick his way into Bucky's mouth and try to memorize the taste and the feel of Bucky's lips against his own, the way Bucky shudders when Tony licks the roof of his mouth.

Bucky slams him up against the wall halfway to the bedroom, grinding against Tony in short, sharp motions, like he just can't wait and that is also too hot for Tony to handle right now. “Why do you have to make everything so fucking difficult?” Bucky demands in a growl and then sinks his teeth into Tony’s lower lip, biting down like a punishment and it only makes Tony harder, makes him whine and jerk in Bucky’s hold.

“_I'm_ making things difficult?” Tony taunts as soon as Bucky releases his lip, the abused skin throbbing amazingly. “I’m not the one who keeps getting distracted on the way to the main event.” And Tony really means this complaint, because he’s still in his flight suit which is not exactly erection friendly. Sure it’s got enough stretch that’s it’s not full on strangling his dick, but it’s far from comfortable either. 

Tony probably deserves it when Bucky bites him again, so he just moans happily and presses himself all up against Bucky’s front, uncaring that the tac gear digs into him uncomfortably. Bucky starts moving again though, which is a plus, yanking Tony away from the wall and it’s a really good thing the bedroom door was already ajar because Bucky just kicks it open with enough force to knock it against the opposite wall and he definitely would have broken the frame if the door had been closed. That probably shouldn’t be as hot as it is, either.

And then they're officially in the bedroom, facing down Tony’s giant unmade bed and yep, this is all very real, it’s really happening. It also apparently might be the moment of truth, because Bucky’s face kind of twitches, like maybe ending up in Tony’s bed is a little further than he’d intended to go. Tony is about to point out they can absolutely get back on the ground, if that’s what Bucky wants, when Bucky apparently makes up his mind and tumbles them into the bed, pinning Tony beneath him again and kissing him deep, like he’s trying to prevent Tony from saying anything else.

Which is probably fair, and Tony will have absolutely zero objections if Bucky ever decides to kiss him quiet in the future, because even angry Bucky kisses like it’s the only thing in the world he cares about at the moment. It’s breathtaking, it’s overwhelming, the full force of Bucky’s furious attention apparently focused on kissing Tony stupid. He’s doing a great job of it too, his tongue hot and slick and melting Tony’s brain a little more with every press and slide.

Bucky’s lips are so soft against his and Tony almost forgets for a second that he’s supposed to be angry, this is _hate _sex , because Bucky’s _hates_ him . He bites Bucky’s lip so he won’t do something stupid and useless, like sob, and shivers when Bucky responds by snarling at him.

“Get the fuckin’ lube,” Bucky growls against Tony’s lips and it takes a second for Tony to recover enough to move, because  _holy shit _he definitely just lost what little brain cells he had left. Bucky leans back when Tony starts to wiggle out from under him and then Tony is scrambling his way across the bed to dig through the nightstand, his hands shaking.

As soon as Tony pulls the bottle out of the drawer Bucky’s metal hand wraps around his ankle and literally drags him back down the bed, and Tony is completely helpless against the moan that bursts out of him. His entire body is tingly, blood rushing hot through his veins as Bucky grabs the bottle from his numb fingers and tosses it down beside Tony’s head.

Tony is not excited to figure out how he’s supposed to get out of his flight suit while trapped under Bucky’s obnoxious (sexy) superior bulk, but he’s a clever guy and he’s willing to work it out. Turns out he doesn’t need to worry about it though, because Bucky settles back on his knees and yanks Tony’s hips up to rest on his thighs, then grabs two big handfuls of the fabric covering Tony’s ass and yanks. The suit tears open like tissue paper and Tony is legitimately speechless for a second.

“Jesus- fuck, do you know how many flights suits I go through as it is?” Tony tries to protest, but his voice is breathy and dazed, and his cock is obviously hard and leaking where it’s still trapped inside the suit and hey at least that’s slightly less painful now that there’s some give in the fabric.

“Do you ever shut up?” Bucky demands, face flushed and eyes fixed on Tony’s bared ass. Which is flattering, it really is, but Tony is hoping he’ll do a lot more than look.

“Maybe if you were doing your job right,” Tony says, like a challenge, and then nearly howls when Bucky leans down and bites his nipple through the thin fabric of the suit, reaching blindly for the lube again as he does it.

Bucky slicks up his fingers and works Tony open with an almost ruthless efficiency, adds another a second and then third finger just as Tony is starting to adjust and it keeps Tony hanging in a state of overwhelming, aching pleasure. He claws at Bucky’s shoulders, whines and kicks at Bucky with his heels, bares his teeth and demands  _more, more, more._ Bucky’s fingers inside him are insistent and inescapable, lighting Tony up from the inside out with hard drags over his prostate.

“Jesus, get the fuck on with it Barnes,” Tony gasps out when it’s suddenly too much, when he’s seconds away from coming on Bucky’s fingers alone, the feral look in Bucky’s eyes as he watches Tony writhe beneath him. Bucky jabs at his prostate again, just to be contrary, lets his fingers linger there with a firm pressure until Tony is whining and clenching his teeth and so close to coming he can fucking _taste_ it. And then Bucky pulls his fingers back, pulls them out entirely and Tony chokes out “fuck you.”

Bucky snorts and lets go of Tony just enough to shove his pants down over his hips, finally letting his gorgeous cock pop free and Tony is practically drooling at the sight of it. Maybe if he nearly dies on a mission again, Bucky will fuck his mouth. Tony can’t contemplate that for long though, because Bucky is shifting again, slicking his cock and then lining it up with Tony's ass. Even after three fingers, Bucky’s cock feels huge against his rim and Tony can’t contain a broken moan as Bucky starts pressing into him. Bucky is  _big_, he’s really big and Tony hasn’t actually done this in forever, but _god_ Tony wants it so he forces himself to take deep breaths and relax as Bucky’s monster cock splits him open.

“Jesus, what the fuck-” Tony gasps out as Bucky’s hips finally settle snug up against his ass, his thighs spread wide around Bucky’s waist. Tony feels so stretched open and stuffed full that he can barely breathe around it and he’s starting to wonder if maybe this was a terrible idea, wondering how the hell he’s supposed to act like he’s not head over heels for Bucky when Tony is going to be feeling him for a week. “Bucky, just-“ Tony is seconds away from begging, or crying, or just shaking apart from the overwhelmingness of it all, and then he groans loudly when Bucky shifts, folding himself down over Tony again.

“You’re so goddamn stupid,” Bucky growls into his ear, and Tony wants to protest but he’s too busy moaning and gasping as Bucky rolls his hips, thick cock rubbing and pressing at all of Tony ’s favorite places. He pulls back until the head of his cock is teasing at Tony’s rim before pressing forward and spreading Tony wide again, infuriatingly gentle compared to his snarled words.

“Fuck you,” Tony manages to gasp out, grabbing Bucky’s hair and giving it a hard tug because seriously, Tony is far from stupid, ask anyone who only kind of knows him.

Bucky retaliates by snapping his hips forward hard, knocking the breath out of Tony and it feels like Bucky slides impossibly deeper, presses even further inside him. “Stupid,” Bucky repeats and bites at Tony’s jaw, hard enough that it’ll almost definitely leave a mark. Tony yanks his hair again and then Bucky starts fucking him in earnest, long hard thrusts that knock a groan out of Tony with every bush over his prostate, every slap of Bucky’s hips against his ass.

And then Bucky kisses him again and Tony is helpless against it all, Bucky’s tongue mapping out his mouth and each drag of Bucky’s cock stoking the fire in Tony’s gut until he’s a little scared he’s going to burn right up. Tony has wanted this for so long, Bucky’s soft hair between his fingers, Bucky’s weight pressing him into the mattress, he’s already so close and there’s nothing he can do to stop it. Bucky shifts to bite his jaw again and Tony shudders hard, clenching down around Bucky’s cock inside him and it just increases the ache, drives the pleasure higher.

Bucky leans back again, shifts both his hands to Tony’s waist so he can yank Tony into each thrust, fucking into him hard and fast until Tony is nearly wailing each time Bucky slams into him. “Nothing to say now?” Bucky taunts, one eyebrow raised, and oh great Bucky is taunting him now, he even has this gorgeous little smirk on his face and Tony feels his heart clench even as the knot in his gut twists up tighter.

“Fuck you,” Tony says on a moan and it sounds way too soft, way too fond, all of his masks are shattering around him. “Bucky, god, Bucky please I’m so-“ Tony is seconds away from coming and he’s in so much trouble, he’s never going to get over this, over Bucky’s cock inside him, taking him apart like he’s just been waiting for the chance. And he’s definitely never going to get over the sight of Bucky moving above him, his face flushed, his hair a mess and his eyes dark, finally looking right at Tony, like Tony is actually something worth looking at.

Tony arches his back harder, tightens his legs around Bucky’s waist and groans when it feels like Bucky slides even deeper inside him. He’s clenching down hard on Bucky’s cock and it slows Bucky’s thrusts, makes him grip Tony’s hips tighter and yank him in harder.

“Do it,” Bucky says, voice low and rough, eyes raking over Tony’s chest and hips, still trapped in his flight suit except where Bucky is fucking into him and Tony feels like he’s on  _fire._ “Come for me.” Tony practically sobs when Bucky’s hand lands on his cock, just cupping it through the fabric but that’s all Tony needs.

Tony is pretty sure he screams when he comes and he really doesn’t care, it’s just something he’s vaguely aware of as his vision whites out and his entire body shakes. His nails dig into Bucky’s shoulder and his other hand yanks at Bucky’s hair, his hips jerking and rocking into it as Bucky continues thrusting into him, dragging his orgasm out until Tony is pretty sure he actually loses consciousness for a second before going limp with a soft whimpering sound.

“Fuck, holy shit,” Bucky gasps out and now he really does sound out of control, sounds completely broken apart. Tony drags his eyes open and forces them to focus just in time to catch a glimpse of Bucky’s face as he ducks down again, Bucky’s lips bitten and swollen red and his eyes fucking  _wild_. “Fuck you,” Bucky growls into Tony’s throat, his thrusts going short and uncoordinated. “Stupid, reckless asshole,  _fuck_, fuck you-“ he breaks off with a deep groan as he comes, shoving and grinding into Tony hard, spilling deep inside him. “Tony, Tony-“ Bucky sighs out and he doesn’t sound angry anymore, he sounds... sounds like something Tony is terrified to put a name to, something sad and lonely and horribly familiar.

It takes forever for Tony to catch his breath and even longer for his heart rate to slow down to something a little less dangerous, slowly loosening his hold on Bucky even though he can’t bring himself to pull away entirely. Bucky keeps his face tucked into Tony’s neck, which is probably a good thing because Tony is entirely too tired and blissed out to put on his ‘ _I don’t like Bucky Barnes_ ’ face right now. Maybe in one more minute, he’ll be able to pull it off.

Except Bucky is still shaking a little under his hands and his breathing is still uneven against Tony’s neck. “I don’t care if you hate me,” Bucky says, quiet and unbearably open, “I can’t- don’t make me watch you die. I know it’s selfish, I shouldn’t ask anything of you, but-  _please_. I can’t watch you die.”

“I don’t hate you,” Tony blurts before he can stop himself, because that’s somehow the easiest part of that statement to deal with, then winces when Bucky raises his head to give him a skeptical look. He’s still so, so gorgeous that Tony kind of feels like his heart is breaking even without the look in Bucky’s eyes, like he’s lost and for some ungodly reason he’s looking to Tony for help.

“Then why did you offer to hate-fuck me?” Bucky asks, one eyebrow raised again and it’s ridiculous that Tony just came his brains out and he’s still shivering a little at the rough sound of Bucky’s voice.

“Um, because you hate me? And I figured it would probably be my only chance?” Tony always knew he’d get himself in trouble one day with his post-orgasm chattering, and here it is, apparently they’re having _this_ conversation. So much for hoping he’d be able to suck Bucky’s cock, somewhere down the road. That’s definitely not going to happen now because Tony is a pathetic creep and Bucky is going to rightfully avoid him. Even more so than he already does.

Bucky’s frown deepens, but his hand is gentle when he cups Tony’s cheek. “I don’t hate you, Tony,” he says, soft and sad and Tony feels like he can’t breathe under the weight of it. He doesn’t know that he’s ever heard Bucky say his name before, and definitely not like this, like it’s something more than a curse word. Like Tony’s name is something precious, something Bucky’s been wanting to say for a long time.

Tony snorts unattractively, because yeah sure, pull the other one. Current situation as it may be, still tangled together in Tony’s bed, Bucky’s cock still lodged inside him, Tony remembers the last two goddamn years of working and living together just fine. “Okay sure, I got it, we’re going to go with ‘ _ambivalent dislike_ ' because hate requires effort. You got it. Are we done here? Because I could still really use that shower.”

“Tony,” Bucky says again, short and frustrated, like he actually has something important to say and Tony is being an ass and making it difficult, and if Bucky isn’t used to that by now then Tony really doesn’t know what to tell him. “Tony that’s not- of course I-“

“Stop,” Tony says, fixing his eyes somewhere over Bucky’s shoulder because he doesn’t think he can survive this conversation if he has to look Bucky in the eye. Bad enough that he can still feel the ache in his thighs from being wrapped around Bucky’s waist, Bucky’s cock slowly softening inside him, bad enough that Tony still wants to hold onto those things for as long as he can. “Don’t go easy on me now, it’ll just be weird if you stop running out of any room I walk into," Tony says and smiles with lots of teeth, because he’s a goddamn adult, he doesn’t need Bucky’s pity, doesn’t need Bucky forcing himself to act like he can suddenly stand Tony all the sudden.

“Tony,” Bucky snaps, hint of anger creeping into his voice again and somehow that's better, makes Tony feel less like he’s teetering right at the edge of some great unknown abyss. Except then Bucky’s fingers are on his jaw, turning it and forcing him to meet Bucky’s eyes, as broken open and painfully vulnerable as Tony feels. “Tony, I am _terrified_ of you,” Bucky says, which is one of the most hilariously ridiculous things Tony has ever heard, but Bucky says it with such heartbreaking sincerity that it can’t be anything but true.

“What?” Tony blurts out because he officially has no idea what’s happening anymore, if Bucky doesn’t hate him then why was he cornering Tony in the hallways with his angry face? Why are they having (admittedly fantastic) hate-sex in the first place if neither of them hate the other? “No seriously, what?”

Bucky sighs, which is familiar at least, Tony makes people sigh in annoyance pretty much constantly. What’s not familiar is the small smile on Bucky’s face, something almost fond in his expression. “Tony,” Bucky says again, like he can’t stop now that he’s started, “how could I not be- you’ve done so much, even just for me alone and I- fuck, I have _no_ idea how I’m supposed to make that up to you, how I’m supposed to pay you back.”

Tony opens his mouth, immediately prepared to protest that Bucky doesn’t owe anyone a damn thing, not after everything he’s been through, and he especially doesn’t owe anything to Tony, who’s still just trying to make up for his own mistakes. Bucky is apparently prepared for Tony’s objections though, because he stops them with his thumb pressing gently over Tony’s lips. “I want to,” Bucky says, voice barely a whisper, moving his thumb so his lips are brushing over Tony’s instead, “you deserve it.”

And Tony has a lot of opinions on things he ‘ _deserves’, _ but it’s easy to forget about all of that when Bucky kisses him again, sweet and a little hesitant until Tony surges up into it. And then they’re kissing, really kissing, deep and slow with Bucky’s hand cupping his jaw and Tony’s fingers digging into Bucky’s soft hair again, and this is a while new monster, a whole new feeling that Tony is never going to forget, never going to get over. When they pause for breath everything is warm ad close and gentle, and there's a soft light in Bucky’s eyes that Tony has never seen before.

Bucky lets out a shuddering breath, thumb tracing the curve of Tony’s cheekbone. “I thought-“ he pauses, like the clearer his head gets the harder it is to force the words out, and Tony knows the feeling, he really does. “Thought the best I could do would be staying quiet, staying out of your way, I never meant- I don’t hate you.” There’s a new look in Bucky’s eyes now, like he’s honestly pained by the idea that Tony has misinterpreted what was apparently his gift of silence, and Tony kind of wants to laugh

Before he quite realizes it he _is_ laughing,  just a soft, slightly hysterical giggle. “You asshole,” Tony says but he’s grinning too wide to put any heat into the words, tugging gently at Bucky’s hair. “I have been trying to make you laugh for like a year now and you’ve, what, been holding it in for my sake?”

Bucky definitely looks a little sheepish now, his cheeks tinged pink as he cuts his eyes to the side and grumbles out “I really liked your joke when Clint fell in that dumpster.”

“Of course you did,” Tony says smugly even as his heart soars in his chest because Bucky really doesn’t hate him, more than that, Bucky thinks he’s funny, thinks Tony deserves things that aren’t terrible. Tony can barely believe it, and he is in fact trying to avoid thinking about it too hard in case this entire fever dream falls apart around him. “That was like the funniest thing I’ve ever said, highlight of my career, even Steve laughed and he usually tries not to encourage me.” Tony gives Bucky’s hair another light tug and then starts carefully smoothing out the tangled strands as he says “and then there was you, just blank-faced staring. You really know how to hit a guy right in the ego.”

Bucky does laugh then, ducking his chin a little even as the rest of him seems to finally relax, tension Tony hadn’t even noticed melting away as Bucky settles in on top of him. And Tony doesn’t even care that he’s being mildly squished under supersoldier bulk, too busy committing to memory the sound of Bucky’s laughter, low and rough ad rumbling through Tony’s chest where they’re pressed close together. “Aw, poor baby, is someone not feeling the love?” Bucky coos, teasing glint in his eye, and Tony can’t even be mad because he’s too busy losing his breath (and possibly his heart) over the warmth in Bucky ’s tone. Tony doesn’t have anything to say to that that’s not entirely too honest, entirely too greedy, so he just pulls Bucky into another kiss instead, distracts himself by licking into Bucky’s mouth slow and lazy. Tony has no idea what they’re doing now, because this stopped being hate sex a while ago, but whatever it is he doesn’t want it to end, wants to spend forever with Bucky wrapped around him safe and warm, Bucky chasing after Tony’s tongue with his own.

Bucky finally pulls away but he doesn’t go far, his weight still settled comfortably across Tony, still dropping short sweet kisses across Tony’s face. “Let me make it up to you,” he says, something in his voice almost like begging but infinitely sweeter, like a plea, like a prayer. “Let me fuck you right, treat you real sweet.”

“You have got to be kidding me,” Tony groans as he feels Bucky’s cock twitch inside him, starting to fill again. Tony is too old for this shit, he really is, but stillhis stomach is twisting up with want all over again, his cock trying valiantly to stir at the hunger in Bucky’s gaze. "Some of us are old, tastee freeze, literally old, not just technically old."

“Tell you what,” Bucky says with another soft chuckle, voice low and heated, dragging his tongue around the shell of Tony’s ear, “how about I get you out of this suit, lick you clean, see how you feel after that, hmm?” Bucky rolls his hips again and Tony whines as the shift causes Bucky’s come to start leaking out of him, warm and messy. Tony flushes hot when he realizes that yes, Bucky does in fact intend to lick him  _everywhere,_ and hey what do you know, apparently Tony isn’t too old for this shit after all.

“I changed my mind, I do hate you,” Tony groans as his cock twitches painfully back to life and god, he absolutely wants to feel Bucky’s mouth on him, doesn’t care if every inch of him aches in the morning. Bucky responds by laughing, which Tony is never going to get sick of, then bites Tony’s throat again. “Hey, that’s not gentle,” Tony protests, gasping as a shiver runs through him and yeah, his protest probably doesn’t hold much weight.

“I said I’d fuck you right, not gentle,” Bucky says as he leans back, a wicked smirk on his face that’s honestly doing more towards dragging Tony back to full hardness than anything else. At least, it is until Bucky grabs the torn edges of the flight suit and starts tearing Tony the rest of the way out of it.

"Oh my god," Toy groans weakly, hips twitching and jerking, and Bucky grins at him big and toothy. Tony’s not sure he’s actually going to survive this night, and he has no idea what’s going to happen after this, if Bucky is going to go right back to pretending Tony doesn’t exists. For now, all Tony cares about is pulling Bucky in again, kissing him hungrily, taking whatever he can get and making the most of it.


End file.
